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Humans have pondered questions about paternity for as long as we’ve been around. But the age of consumer DNA testing makes those questions deeply personal to many who in the past would have lived and died without ever knowing that a stranger had contributed half their genetic material. In an era of home DNA testing, secrets about paternity no longer stay secret.
The science of relative-matching at major companies like Ancestry and 23andMe is sound, and even when one’s genetic father doesn’t show up in a database, DNA results combined with solid genealogical research can often reveal his identity. Without quite realizing it, we’ve begun a grand experiment in intergenerational reckoning.
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Having access to this knowledge has major repercussions. Over and over, the people I interviewed for my book, “The Lost Family: How DNA Testing Is Upending Who We Are,” described these revelations as profound, even traumatic. One woman, upon discovering that her father was someone other than the beloved man who raised her, described herself as “devastated that I wasn’t who I thought, that I was made of a stranger.” But she and others also expressed gratitude for knowing the painful truth. This knowledge answered questions, reshaped identities and changed medical care. The scale of this phenomenon is contributing to the emergence of mental health professionals who specialize in DNA-related discoveries, and strengthening a growing movement advocating everyone’s right to know his or her genetic identity.
These unexpected truths also pose major changes to family dynamics. For instance, they can shift the power balance between generations. In the past, parents who didn’t want their children to know their genetic parentage could often keep it under wraps. In the DNA age, parents confronted by the results of an Ancestry test may declare those results “impossible,” as one mother told her daughter, but such denials are no longer the last word. The proof is in those vials of saliva analyzed in a lab.
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