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Do your sons have children of color come to your house and play? Do friends of color come over for dinner? Is their world outside of school predominantly white? What kind of television and books do they read? Are those predominantly white? I’d examine what your reinforcing at home about the value of whiteness as well. The real question is do I have anyone over for dinner other than the occasional grandparent? The answer is hell no. I have four kids, one with pretty serious needs and all four play sports, sports through our Rec dept and their schools. Teams made up of all sorts of folks. Right now, that is our life outside of school. I assure you that I am not championing our whiteness. I’m sure your life is very busy and can be overwhelming. I have 2 two year olds and a five year old, and I’m navigating adoption. My third child is biracial, and it’s really changed my perspective on terms of how active I have to be in pushing against white supremacy. It’s a journey and I’m still learning too.

Rich, black kids can have “behavior issues”. Poor, white kids can have “behavior issues”. Rich, white kids can have “behavior issues”. Poor, black kids can have “behavior issues”. Working class families with purple kids can have “behavior issues”. Good luck in your decision. What a gift, to be ale to decide to remove your children from an environment where you feel they are not getting what they fully need or deserve… It really is such a hard topic, one I have pondered over and over…. Just rambling thoughts of a public school teacher, who has been on the receiving end of violent kids, kids with every behavior there is… and they have come from every background. I am also a Mama to an overachieving, sometimes quiet, easily overlooked, white daughter who watches those behaviors. I am Mama to a naturally smart, white athletic son who watches those behaviors. I am Mama to an artistic and spunky white daughter who really struggles with reading and watches those behaviors. I am also Mama to a special needs, struggling to succeed, but absolutely remarkable black son, who watches, imitates, and sometimes displays the exact behaviors that “disrupt” the learning of the others…. but like you said… ALL kids deserve a good education. There really is no “right” answer.