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As you should be!….and hopefully not hateful and jealous and non accepting of other who have it diffrently,weather that be better or worse! All but the god and family part and now the true friends. If there was a god half or more things that happened to me wouldnt have happened. Not necessarily…what happened could have been worse then it was but God didn’t let that happen. What happened happened to teach a lesson. Were you paying a attention. had you believed in god these things would have still happened but he would have helped you get through it next time anything happens call on his name and see what happens you’ll be surprised I dare you I used to think that too. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I hurt once too. I spent 11 years miserable and angry at God but then one day I understood why it was me, I was being used by God to help others so they wouldnt end up being hurt in the way I was. People can say they understand how you feel but if they’ve never been in your shoes that is all they can say. I can say I understand how you feel and think right now but I am encouraging you not to waste another day or minute allowing the devil to beat you up with your past. If you want to talk, I am one instant message away, your conversation is safe, and you are free to rant, be angry, and let go of your hurt and pain. I am so grateful to have been born in America to a loving Christian family. Have lived many places, Libya, N. Italy and Germany and there is no comparison to our life, truly blessed!