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I am struggling with some of the same issues. We just moved my son to public school this year (3rd grade) and it’s a decision I’m still thinking and rethinking for some of the same reasons. When I went to UNC/Chapel Hill in the late 60’s , I had many “friends” who were from other countries …. diverse in many ways but sharing common values ….. this is a “values” problem ….. children’s behavior is generally a reflection of parenting …… parent’s primary concerns are the education and well being of their children … thus you cannot fault them for removing their kids to an environment that they feel better serves those values …… you can’t blame everything on poverty ….. my grandparents and parents came from poor backgrounds …. tenant farmers …. …. but had more integrity than the majority of people today ….. teacher’s jobs are to teach … not to babysit or compensate for parental failures in responsibility.
I wanted our sons to go to school with their neighbors. My older son, a very successful UNC grad says this is the biggest disservice we’ve ever done. Gail VanMatre He did not feel prepared when he got to UNC. He was in the IB program and was in the top 5 at his high school. He said he had never learned to study. College is hard, it’s supposed to be. I think he expected to to work, but not as hard as he had to. He was also an athlete which took up a lot of his study time. I’m sorry to hear that. Where does he wish he went instead? (We are choosing middle school for our son right now, is why I ask. I’m 40 years old, but I worked at least as hard at my public high school where I took a million AP classes as I did at my elite top 10 private college. So it was a long time ago but not everyone’s experience is the same…